The Confession of An Aspiring Writer

This week instagram hashtag project is Dream Big. “Your dreams encapsulate your highest goals.” It says on the caption section.

But we never can tell with dreams.

Through twenty nine years my journey in this life, only the past ten years have I really think about my dream. Up until now, I still keep asking myself ‘where am I?’ The question that keeps me awake at night. Its anxiety sending a shudder through my veins. Yet I still have not find my answer. I am stuck in my own labyrinth. I am lost in the maze of my own past.

What is my goal?
Without goal I would roll without direction.

What am I seeking?

Rumi said ‘what you seek is seeking you’.

Should I walk into the the deep wood, climb the highest mountain, dive into the deepest ocean, be a hermit, contemplate in the cave, put myself in isolation or leave behind what I already have just like the true story of eat, pray, and love in order to find the answer for my question?

Life is not that simple.

At least not for every one.

What seem to be easy for other may be difficult for another.

Dreaming is not a painful process. But the process of reaching the dream is. It is fun to think what you want to do in life, making plan for your future, and setting goals to reach those dreams. The willingness to change habits,

because we are what we repeatedly do, said Aristotl.

I may sound like I am one of the people in this whole world who has reach my dream. But unfortunately I am not…yet. At the moment I am still standing on the third lowest stairs that is going up to reach my dream. I do not know how many more do I have to climb to be there. I am not sure whether there are people up there trying to climb the same stairs as I do therefore they are blocking my way. I have no idea whether the stairs slippery or not.

I never know if I do not find out. And the only way to find out is to FIND OUT.

Of course, it is scary as well, not to know what is waiting for me up there. That is the kind of thought which makes me climbing down to the lowest stairs and trying heading another direction.

‘Could there be something else for me?’ Here comes the time when commitment is the most needed. To help me go back to that higher purpose of mine. Climbing up that stairs. The stairs that lead me to my dream.

Life is, what we make of it. For our purposes, our goals, and our dreams, we make mistakes. But what define us and separate us from others are how we fix it. As we continue to grow, we continue to mature, we are learning more. Mistakes are there to be learnt. And through those mistakes we define our dreams.

I dream of being a writer. Therefore, I write.

“I am not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost.” _Winnie-the-Pooh

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